Dr. Sachi Nakamura (Christian books translator, JCFN board member, Spiritual Director)
We all have moments of going about with our daily life and suddenly having waves of anxiousness, fear, anger, annoyance, hopelessness and other unpleasant emotions sweep over us. Something from our everyday life may trigger those intense feelings in us. In those moments, our tendency is to into fight-or-flight mode and react emotionally rather than to respond prayerfully. We are also prone to feeling bogged down and unable to break free from those negative feelings. The Welcoming Prayer shields us from being swept away by those strong negative emotions. The Welcoming Prayer helps us to place ourselves into God’s presence and to hand those feelings over to Him who can heal us.
The Welcoming Prayer is ultimately a prayer of letting go. Strong emotions that were mentioned earlier are usually triggered by our unmet or threatened needs, or wishes from deep down in our hearts. It can be a need for safety, security, love, acceptance, respect, control, power, etc. When we start feeling those emotions, the first thing we need to do is to fully embrace them. Only then can we give our feelings and deeper needs over to the One who can truly meet them. Praying the Welcoming Prayer will not guarantee our heightened emotions to instantly disappear. Those feelings may even return over and over. But we can always turn those moments as an opportunities to pray the Welcoming Prayer. We can choose to direct our thoughts to God, who hears our prayers, and let Him lead us from there.
1. Feel and sink into what you are experiencing this moment in your body.
Strong emotions can bring about physical reactions in us. Some examples of this would be becoming fidgety, breathing shallow and fast, stiffening of the body, breathing with difficulty or feeling nauseous. Also, our heart may start beating faster, and we may also feel our blood boiling or some numbness or pain in our body. First, become aware of how each part of your body is feeling. Do not suppress or ignore those feelings. Instead, take deep breaths and sink into what you are experiencing in your body. Which part of your body feels stiff? Where are you feeling pain? Where do you feel discomfort? Pay attention to what your body is telling you. What are those sensations trying to convey? How is your physical reaction serving as an indicator of your emotions? What emotion are you feeling right now? Is it anger, annoyance, disappointment, hopelessness, sadness, shame, anxiousness….?
At other times, we may be aware of feeling angry or annoyed, but unaware of our body’s reaction to those emotions. Pay close attention to your physical senses. Our bodies often react even when we are unaware of our own emotions. Our bodies can be honest indicators of our emotions before we realize them. Do not try to deny or fight back your physical senses nor your emotions that are triggering them. Take them in as they are. There is no need to become masochistic or to indulge in negative emotions. You don’t have to think that “I should not be feeling this way,” or analyze and judge whether what you are feeling is good or bad. Simply acknowledge what you are feeling and experiencing in your heart and body. When you embrace your physical sensations as they are, you are distinguishing them from the strong emotions that are causing them. By creating a separation between your physical self and your emotions, you can safeguard yourself from being taken over by your emotions. No matter how strong of a negative emotion you have, it will only be a part of you and not define who you are.
2. Welcome what you are experiencing.
Literally say out loud, “Welcome, Fear (anger, anxiousness, sadness, disappointment, irritation, etc.).” A small voice will do. If you don’t want to say it out loud, you can say it in your heart. Regard your emotion as you would a dear friend or a loved one, and embrace it with open arms. Tell him how glad you are to see him. I personally like to visualize the character of Medama Oyaji (a tiny goblin with an eyeball-head from a Japanese cartoon Gegege No Kitaro) approaching me, wearing a headband with names of negative emotions, such as anger or sadness, on his forehead. I hug him saying, “Welcome! I’m so glad you came.” Although the image of this goblin is helpful to me, you certainly don’t have to do exactly as I do. Whatever character that personifies your emotion will work. You may even want to visualize your emotion as a puppy or a little child clinging to you for attention. You may also picture yourself as being surrounded by several puppies that are trying to jump into your arms. Welcome each and every one of them. The important thing is to personally and specifically welcome all the negative emotions that you tend to reject. Mary Mrozowski, who came up with this prayer, explained this “welcome” furthermore as “being hospitable.”
At other times, we may be aware of feeling angry or annoyed, but unaware of our body’s reaction to those emotions. Pay close attention to your physical senses. Our bodies often react even when we are unaware of our own emotions. Our bodies can be honest indicators of our emotions before we realize them. Do not try to deny or fight back your physical senses nor your emotions that are triggering them. Take them in as they are. There is no need to become masochistic or to indulge in negative emotions. You don’t have to think that “I should not be feeling this way,” or analyze and judge whether what you are feeling is good or bad. Simply acknowledge what you are feeling and experiencing in your heart and body. When you embrace your physical sensations as they are, you are distinguishing them from the strong emotions that are causing them. By creating a separation between your physical self and your emotions, you can safeguard yourself from being taken over by your emotions. No matter how strong of a negative emotion you have, it will only be a part of you and not define who you are.
However, please remember that you are only welcoming your emotions and not their cause or the origin (such as illness, disaster, bullying, poverty, social structure, packed schedule, etc.). Also, welcoming negative emotions does not mean dwelling in them. You are only offering hospitality to them, rather than showing hostility to or avoiding them. And as you experience those emotions, be mindful of God’s presence with you. As you embrace your goblin, Jesus is also with you. As you embrace the goblin, Jesus will gently draw you closer to him. The reason why the goblin appeared in the first place is because there was an unmet need in you. Maybe you were trying to fill that need by your own power, or by the people and environment around you without even realizing it. Once you are done cuddling with the goblin, introduce him to Jesus.
3. Release all the emotions you have acknowledged, along with your desire to control or change them over to God.
Next, let go by praying, “God, I let go of my fear (anger, anxiousness, sadness, disappointment, irritation. etc.) to you.” Maybe you can visualize handing over the goblin from your arms into the arms of Jesus. Then continue praying in this way, “I also let go of the root of those emotions (such as my desire for control, acceptance, affirmation, love, safety and security).” Pray this with faith and confidence that the Lord alone is good, and that only He is able to satisfy, heal, comfort, encourage, help and support me.
The Welcoming Prayer
Welcome, welcome, welcome.
I welcome everything that comes to me today
because I know it’s for my healing.
I welcome all thoughts, feelings, emotions, persons,
situations, and conditions.
I let go of my desire for power and control.
I let go of my desire for affection, esteem,
approval and pleasure.
I let go of my desire for survival and security.
I let go of my desire to change any situation,
condition, person or myself.
I open to the love and presence of God and
God’s action within. Amen.
（Mary Mrozowski）
Megumi Kurata（JCFN Midwest Associate Staff)
